Fantasy Greeting Cards–Part 2

Part two of sayings for the outside and insides of cards you'd REALLY like to send. Part One is here.

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…

 

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

 ~~~

 Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it…

 She moved in with me.

 ~~~~

 Congratulations on your wedding day!

 Too bad no one likes your husband.

 ~~~~

 How could two people as beautiful as you

 Have such an ugly baby?

~~~

 As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…

 That you're not here to ruin it for me.

 ~~~~

 Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go…

 Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

 You'll probably need it again.

 ~~~~

 Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

 (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West
Virginia)


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