Fantasy Greeting Cards–Part 2

Part two of sayings for the outside and insides of cards you'd REALLY like to send. Part One is here.

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…


I noticed your cat.



 Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it…

 She moved in with me.


 Congratulations on your wedding day!

 Too bad no one likes your husband.


 How could two people as beautiful as you

 Have such an ugly baby?


 As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…

 That you're not here to ruin it for me.


 Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go…

 Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

 You'll probably need it again.


 Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

 (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West

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